I start today's entry with colour. I lay down a range of pastel colours next to each other. The more colours on your palette, the greater your ability to create, and the less you are forced to conform and live within predefined existing 'black and white' lines. These are my thoughts as I do this.
Before I continue, I fix the colours with Artist's Fixative to prevent the soft pastels from smudging.
I then use a white pencil to draw the outline of a dragonfly over the lines. Dragonflies have some sort of spiritual significance for me, which I have never fully investigated. All I know is that I often receive images of dragonflies along with spiritual insight. Either in visions, or as gifts from friends, etc. I am not terribly interested in symbols and such, yet it has been evident of late that dragonflies seem to play some sort of significant symbolic role in my own spiritual life. Perhaps this is why I drew the dragonfly? I am not certain. It just seemed fitting to me, as I associate these insects with water and water with freedom. Thus it seemed a good symbol to use for this journal entry.
I colour the dragonfly using Derwent Soft Pastel Pencils.
I add dark outlines (shadows) with a charcoal pencil.
I then again spray the pages with fixative to prevent it from smudging.
I write my journal entry with gold and silver pencils. This is what I wrote:
"Free. What is freedom? Is it the presence of something? OR Is it the absence of something? The presence of God? The absence of fear? Is to be nourished, protected, loved, cared for, respected? OR Is it to be completely self-sufficient in all things, even the need for acknowledgement? What is freedom?"
"Freedom is to live wholeheartedly delivered unto the will of GOD."
The conclusion reached in the last line requires some explanation. I have opted to live my life as if it truly is not my own, but really the possession of God's. I gave Him my life and therefore it is His responsibility to take care of it. My time is His. My money is His. My coming, going or staying is His. I ask Him where I should be and when I should leave. This has taken to places that has been uncomfortable at times. But it has always taken me to places of greater blessings. It has left me worried about finances at the last minute, but never past the last minute, as He has always provided on time. It has also meant a freeing of my mind from the normal way of thinking on how we should live our lives. People's opinions ceased to matter. The things that motivate and drive people ceased to matter. What mattered was what God said. It requires a training of the mind. Notice that I did not use the past tense in the last sentence. It is an ongoing journey. The whole definition written above appears to be contrary to the concept of freedom as we define it. Yet, I have discovered greater freedom in this relationship with God, than I have ever had before. I ceased to live for my retirement and began to live for 'heaven,' for lack of a better word. When I did that, I learned what it really meant to live. And the best part of this, is that the Person with whom I am on this journey, loves me deeply, intensely and without failing and shortcomings. How many relationships can we say that of? It means that He provides on time. It means that He has my back. He has literally pulled me back from the jaws of death. On one occasion, He prevented a vehicle from rolling with me in it. On another occasion, He gave me a lift with people who drove 1300 km out of their way to deliver me to where I needed to be. On a few occasions, people have put a couple of thousand rand in my hands, after I had prayed over finances. That is freedom. To live free from the worries and cares and the normal things that tie us down. It is the freedom to exactly what God wants. And what I have learned, is that when we do our best for others, within the perfect will of God, then we reap the best seeds in the process. Do not imagine this to be prosperity teaching. I started off saying how this has often taken me to places which were uncomfortable to be at. My discomfort has been physical, emotional and financial. It has never been spiritual. I have learned that as long as I am comfortable in my relationship with our Father, other discomforts loose their importance and they become incredibly insignificant. That is why I can conclude, that to be in the perfect will of God, is freedom.
After spraying my pages with fixative, my white lines had disappeared. I redrew them with white pencil.
The completed journal entry.
You can watch a short compilation video of the above steps on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/5f-sbGLl4Co
Marietjie Uys (Miekie) is a published author. You can buy my books here:
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Jy kan Tuinstories hier koop.
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